As I write today, I have recently gone through a rather large growth period. (A growth period is a time in your life where you are taking a big step forward spiritually and your body feels out of whack a little bit, getting used to the new space.)
Growth periods are really great things, in the end, but can leave you feeling a little off-kilter.
I wanted to bring this particular growth period up because it is deeply related to my core life purpose, and it fills my heart with gladness to be able to share what I learned.
When I say ‘life purpose’ – this is not a task on a checklist of things to do that was made prior to incarnation. Oh no – it’s not that easy. Life purpose is literally your purpose for your life – something that you work on for a lifetime. Something you decided to practice during incarnating. It’s something that is deep and rich and makes you grander for its exploration. So if you think it’s something you can check off a list and move on to something less demanding – no such luck!
Your life purpose will involve all of who you are and will turn you upside down and inside out in its fulfilling – something that takes all your heart and mind and soul.
So – taking that concept of a life purpose – one of the things I came to do this lifetime was to learn how to be around people. To learn about other people, to enjoy them, to make friendships, to relate to other people. To be a people person.
By nature I’m extremely private, sensitive and introverted. If you’re reading this blog, I’m pretty sure you’re a sensitive soul also.
I’m so sensitive that I have spent many lifetimes cutting myself off from others, retreating into monasteries, convents, retreats, nature, pilgramiges, ANYTHING that would give me nice tidy rules to follow and not make me have to face other people too much.
I got so far off my life goals in my last incarnation that it cost me my body. Rather than become involved in the sometimes messy interactions and the imperfections of myself, I closed off. I isolated myself.
And I started over this lifetime at the same point – as an introverted sensitive soul, trying to learn how to be open enough to shine my light.
This recent growth period has been a major turning point in my ability to do that. I started to look at myself and realize there were qualities I held that were not what I wanted. I didn’t want to sit on the sidelines anymore and feel I was watching life pass by. I wanted to be involved. I wanted a softer presence. I wanted to learn how to be as nice externally as I felt inwardly.
A trusted guide and friend pointed me back to The Four Agreements, and in doing so, was reminded of the biggest and first of these:
Be Impeccable With Your Word.
My own interpretation of this is – stick with the facts, don’t beat yourself up, and keep an open heart. If we stick with the facts, we’re not making judgements. If we let ourselves of the hook, we surprisingly start to see the humanity and others. If we stay still and soft rather than close up, we’re able to allow others into our lives rather than kick them out.
When these things come together, miracles happen. Rather than resisting help, we can allow it. Things we always wished could happen, start to – because we’re not getting in our own way anymore.
It’s really easy to throw out judgements, criticisms, and general harshness, when we’re not feeling good inside. It’s kind of a relief valve. It temporarily makes us feel a little better. But only for a little while – because when that pressure gets relieved, we realize that harshness isn’t really who we are.
That’s actually good news. It’s not who we are.
So how do we get off this roller coaster of buildup, relief, guilt – and repeat?
Staying open to our heart. Staying open to life. Accepting ourselves no matter what. Refusing to judge ourselves.
In a word – LOVE.
That doesn’t mean we don’t honor the truth. On the contrary. It just means we stick only with the truth. We don’t embellish the truth with stories that say we’re rotten to the core because of mistakes, or that we’re not capable enough, or that we’re stupid or horrible.
Because the truth is, we are not stupid and horrible.
Neither is anyone else.
So if we can see that – and let go the judgements and just be open to what is real – we can start to open up and not be so angry.
We can start to realize it doesn’t really hurt so much to interact with others. Because when we feel bad, it’s ultimately because something in another has triggered a judgement in ourselves. Nothing another says can really perturb our peace unless that kernel of unrest is already in us to be awakened.
So it is a blessing if we do get perturbed, because we can stay still with that pain, love ourselves, and emerge through the other side an even softer, more actualized being.
That is what I have come here for. To learn to love myself and thereby learn to see that light in others.
I imagine I’m not alone – and so I say to you, who are also seeking, struggling, hurting, but still getting back up and trying:
You are Light, you are Love, you are Hope, you are Peace. You are already All That Is.
You’re enough just as you are. You’re equal to any pain that appears in your life, and you don’t have to believe the lies that say you’re anything less than brilliant.
You are enough. You have the strength to be open, and it’s ok.
Peace be with you!
